some pictures...

Our first snow storm after the summer. The top one is our courthouse, the second one is my front yard. Boy was it cold. We woke up and it was 9* at 8am when I opened the office. It was gorgeous. The kids enjoyed the snow.

Our new puppy Cabella loves the snow. She is a 4 1/2 month old Shepherd Border Collie mix. We love her to pieces!!

Just a random happy picture of me!!

Its been awhile!

It sure has been awhile since I updated my blog here! The girls and I are doing great. The hotel is about to close for the season. I cant believe how fast the time flew by. We moved here 7 months ago. it was cold and rainy, Winter was just leaving and Spring was arriving. The girls have all gotten so big and are doing so well in school. I truly have been blessed with amazing children. They each have their own special qualities and can bring a smile to my face in the worst of situations.
I am doing really well with my weightloss. I have lost 105lbs and seem to be plateaued here. I am down to a loose fitting size 8! That is amazing to me. I sit in my room in the mornings and hold up these size 8 jeans and can not believe that I can fit into them! I went from a 22 to a 8 in 8 months! I am so happy!
I told my girlfriend this morning that I know I'm not fat because I wear an 8! But I still see myself as fat. i think tht will always be an issue with me. The way we percieve ourselves is always completely different then how others see us.
The leaves are changing colors and falling from the tree's. It is an absolutely beautiful sight. Our streets were lined with leaves for about a week, it was amazing. I have never ever seen such a thing, of course in movies ,but to actually live somewhere and expirience the four season is another thing completely!
I started dating this summer. Met some real losers, met some nice guys and found an amazing guy who I have been dating for almost 2 months now.
If anyone had told me a year ago that my life would be this awsome today I woulda called em a liar! I was miserable, fat and unhealthy! Today I am happy, healthy and thin!

Wow It Sure Has Been Awhile!!!!

I cant believe the last time i updated my blod was on July 6th! Man that seems like ages ago, so much has happend since then! Im just going to start flowing and ya'll can read or just skim through!
So the weekend after the 4th of July I went to Fairfield to meet up with some friends for lunch. I missed them all so much that I had to go back and see them, even though I was piss ass tired the following day, lol! Most of yoou know I had agreed to give it one more go with Bobby and I. Which only proved me to be the fool once again.
He had stayed the weekend of 4th of July with me and things seemed great until he got this phone call from, well I am going to call her "B" since I cnt call her anything else nice. Well he had been seeing her back when I moved, which is ok. But when we decided to try to work things out I figured he would break it off with her. Well I was wrong. She called and he got all giddy like a HS teenager talking to their new love. Ok I dismissed it as I was being weird.
Then I came down and we had agreed to have dinner as a family together that Monday. Well he was texting her through our entire meal. I was pissed and hurt all at the same time. I really dont know what he was expecting from me but I think he got alot more then he was wanting. I decided at that point I am not going to be anyones second choice. I deserve to be someones everything and obviously he isnt going to make me that, so its over. The divorce is still going forward and I will never turn down that road again. That chapter in my book of life is over. We will be friends, but never anything more then that. I have hired someone to finish everything for me so I dont have to deal with the bs of it all anymore.
I have been having a few issues with my stomach lately. It seems upset alot of the time. I have been really watching wht I am eating, but it seems like anything and everything I am eating right now is making me sick.
I have been eating a ton (well not a ton because I cant eat that much, lol) of salads, chicken, cheese and beef jerky. Drinking lots of water and Ice tea. Still not drinking any soda or juices. Have not added any kind of sugar back into my diet either. Dont eat the bread or rice and really limit my pasta to about once or twice a month, if that.
I am down to 143lbs! I wear a size 10. I feel amazing, I have so much energy and can do things I never ever thought I would do again. I have a major self confidence/esteem issue. Although in my clothes I know I have lost all this weight, When I look in the mirror I still see the 242lb girl in front of me! I am hoping this is just a phase I am going through because man I dont want to go through the rest of my life with these issues. I tell my girls they are gorgeous exactly how they are, not to worry about what others think of them and their bodies, but here I am stressing about how I look and how fat I look and how much and what I eat. My little ones are still very impressionable and I dont want to pass this off on to them. I want my kids to be comfortable in their bodies, as long as they are healthy and not over weight they are perfect!
Anyway, thats my life and weight update for now. I promise to try and notg o a month without updating again!
XoXoXo to all who read this!!!!!

Well I Did IT!!!!

Things have been crazy around here this past week and a half. The hotel has been off the hook crazy (rude weird guests and being busy every single night). Life seems to happen in the weirdest ways. Things happen that ya never knew were possible. People surprise you and do things you never thought was possible!
On Friday my GF Erin and I did a marathon, my first ever. We both completed it in record time for the both of us. She even placed third! Congrats Erin! I didnt place BUT I finished and most definately NOT last! 40 minutes 11 seconds, it was hard and tiresome and amazing all at the same time!
We had a busy 4th of July. Bobby and his mom came and brought my girls back. They had been gone for two weeks. We had a wonderful couple of days together. Bobby was so supportive and told me how proud he was of all that I have become. He was waiting at the finish line with the girls Friday morning encouraging me!
We BBQ'ed and hung out and just enjoyed being a family. My GF Erin came over with her kids and we hung out, went to see the fireworks together, came home and did our own fireworks (which were much better than the ones the city did), and had a blast just relaxing and being together.
Brieanna got the flu on Friday so she was unable to do much of anything. She just layed around most of the day, until we went to watch the fireworks. She was much better yesterday.
Not much of a weight update except that I have reached the 85lb mark since surgery (92lb mark since this whole thing began). That is an amazing feeling for me! I feel so awsome!

Thank you to all my friends who faithfully read this! I love you all! XoXoXo

More Stuff!

My good friend Amber (pictured above with me) came down for a visit this past Sunday. We had a great time hanging out and visiting the tourist hot spots. It was nice seeing her, we havent seen each other in around 12 years! She brought some pictures of my children when they were itty bitty, and of course some of me also. My how we change through the years!

Weightloss has slowed dramatically, but now the inches are coming off. I guess the inches have to catch up with the weight loss. I am now down to 155lbs and a comfy size 12/14. I have learned that food is my friend, and we are much closer friends when I make better choices.

I am losing my hair, big clumps of hair every morning. It kinda scares me because I dont wanna wake up bald one morning. I have been considering getting a wig just in case. Brieanna told me she would get me a Hannah Montana wig, Uhmmm honey its cute for her, but she is 16 years younger than me! LOL!! Anyhow that is something I have been giving some serious thought to. Hopefully it wont come to that.

My hormones have been all whacky! One minute I am happy toodling along and the next I am bawling my eyes out. I guess with the weightloss my hormones also have to readjust. So until them I am Sybil.....

Next Friday is the 4th of July! Man it has come upon us so darn fast. Erin, Brie and I will be doing a 5 mile marathon at 8am on the 4th. I am super nervous, this is the first marathon I have ever been in. But with exercising and all that I have been doing it shouldnt be too hard on me. Anyhow wish me luck and think of me at 8am next friday!

Another Day

On Monday I started walking 5 miles. 3 in the morninr and 2 in the evening. Kinda tough on the body but Im adjusting. I also bought some weights and have been exercising my arms. Ya wanna talk about sore, wooowee they are sore, LOL.
I have been eating lots of protein. Since my poor hair is falling out I have upped the amount I am eating in a last ditch effort to decrease the amount I will actually lose. Losing hair is scary, when I wash it handfulls come out, I swear one day I will wake up bald!
The girls are going with their Dad this weekend. He is coming up tonight and leaving on Saturday morning. Another eat your heart out cuz this is what your missing visit with him, LOL.
I am nearing my goal of 100lbs. Only 23lbs left until that goal is a reality! I am sure I will have to work harder for these 23 than the first 23! But once I get there it will be bittersweet when I think of everything I have gone through to get where I am.
I am happy. For the first time in my whole adult life I am happy. I dont need a man to complete me, although a man would be nice for other reasons, but not necessary. I love my job AND I am good at it. For the first time in my life I am healthy and active. I love being outside and doing outdoor activities. In fact I am going to learn how to fish!!!

Walking & Weightloss

So I have been doing this crazy walking thing every morning. Pulling my fat butt out of bed at the crack of dawn and walking for 3+ miles. Today I actually feel good. I dont feel sore and tired and super cranky from lack of sleep. In fact we left at 6am but I was awake checking my clock from 5:30 to about 5:45. It gets light so early up here. It starts getting light about 4am. I am so not used to that! My sweet little doggy, Pongo, walks with me. Sometimes I feel bad cuz 3 miles is alot for me, I just wonder what he is thinking sometimes, Geeze mom are ya trying to kill me?? Its been almost two weeks that I have been walking 3 miles in the mornings (every day), I was starting to get very discouraged last night when I stepped on the scale and was still at 160. Then this morning I stepped on it and it said 158, I was so happy! Its paying off, it really is. My legs are getting stronger and I do feel better. The blisters are finally gone, thank god for that! The soreness in my legs is finally gone. I have been stretching every morning before I go and when I get home also. It is so cute, Pongo see's me stretching and he puts his paws up and it so looks like he is stretching too, LOL.

P.S. The pic is of Bridgeport. Yes that is the WHOLE town in the picture!

OK.....

Whoever said that exercise gives you more energy LIED! I have been walking 3 miles (yes I made a mistake on the distance calculation before) every morning and I am getting more and more tired and increasingly sore! My body is screaming at me to stop but my mids is saying, Ok fat ass keep moving or else your goona be fat forever! Yes I admit it that is my motivation. Maybe today is just a bad day and I need to go back to bed. I hurt, i ihave cramps, I am so sleepy I can hardly keep my eyes open and my day doesnt end until ten o'clock tonight.

Ok enough with my whining. I found out today that one of my best friends is pregnant. How exciting is that? Another one of my best friends is starting In-Vitro this summer. And my final best friend is getting married this summer. Exciting things happening. I almost feel like I am missing out on all this stuff going on with my friends and their lives, but I am not willing to sacrifice my happiness just to move back to be there. I would seriously be miserable if I moved back to fairfield. Anyhow those true friends of mine understand and support my decision, even though they miss me.

Thank you to all who read my blog. XoXoXo!

Another Update!

Well this week I hit 160lbs(and its the first day of my cycle)! It feels wonderful to be able to say 160lbs! 25lbs until I hit my goal of 100lbs. It is so close I can almost reach out and touch it, well thats how it feels. Eating is a breeze for me now. I eat almost whatever I want at this point, just no sugar, I dont eat alot of fruit either because it is very high in natural sugars. But veggies are my favorite friends right now! Salads, I eat them almost every day. Beef Jerky and Atkins shakes have also become very close friends of mine. I have started to lose my hair. It is falling out all the time. Just a side effect from the surgery, but mad it sucks! Consuming more protein will help with the loss but nothing will prevent it. Thank the good Lord he gave me a TON of hair.

We have started our 2.5 mile walks in the mornings. We get up at 5:15am, walk 1/4 mile to the airport, walk all the way down the 1 mile runway, walk back up the 1 mile runway and walk the 1/4 mile back home. Let me tell you my legs are sooo sore, my body is so tired and getting up at 5:15 just sucks butt majorly! We can complete the whole walk in 30 minutes, which for someone as out of shape as I am is pretty darn good. The elevation also makes it harder to exercise, the air is so much thinner up here. Our 3 mile marathon is in 3 1/2 weeks so we need to step up the pace and get our butts moving!

The kids are doing so well. The last day of school is on Wednesday and Bobby will be coming up for his girls the following weekend. He misses them and will be taking them for a week or so. I sure am going to miss my baby. But it is not going to be for very long, so I think we will survive.

Brieanna's BFF is coming down tomorrow. She will be spending the week with us. Not much else is new and exciting in my life. Just the same ol same ol going on here. No drama, no stress and life is grand!!

Love and hugs to all who read this! XoXoXoXo

Finally~~~Doing The Happy Dance!!!

Well I have Finally hit the major goal I had been pushing for, 165lbs! Doing the Happy Dance! That means from my highest point I have lost 77lbs! I am super de duper excited. I weighed 165lbs when I met Bobby 10.5 years ago. Also all my 16's are too big I am officially a size 14, yippeee!! I have seriously 6 garbage bags of clothes that I am going to be donating because they are all TOO BIG for me! I can not believe how amazing this feels. **Doin The Happy Dance**

We had an amazing weekend and an even better Memorial Day. A friend of ours, Dave, took us out for a drive around the local countryside yesterday. I can not believe how incredilby beautiful this area is. I knew it was beautiful, dont get me wrong, but this was just amazing. The picture I have posted is of the creek above Leavitt Falls. it is amazingly gorgeous. I cant wait to go back on a clear day and take many more photos.

We bbq'ed yesterday and had some friends come over. It was really nice. Even though our house is small we still fit like 15 people in here last night! We had hot dogs, egg rolls, cheese tots and potatoe wedges. I had an egg roll and a slice of ham. It was just nice to hang out with my friends and just do nothing. We all hung out and then everyone left around 8:30pm. I went upsatirs and finished unpacking my room and cleaned it up. Finally went to bed around 11pm.


Everyone have a wonderful Tuesday. Love to all my friends XoXoXoXo

Heat, Snow & Another Goal Almost Met

The weather has been so incredibly unpredictable this last week. It was in the nineties last weekend and then yesterday we woke up to snow. It really was beautiful to watch, just kinda weird cuz it was so hot just two days before. Here is a picture I took.

I am officially down 68lbs now. It seems since I started drinking the protein shakes every day for breakfat the weight is coming off again. Not bad, not bad at all. Even though I do have to gag down the protein, it tastes horrible.

I found this SmartWater at Trader Joes the other day. It tastes sooo good and does not nauseate me at all. Which is very important since I hate being nauseated, lol.

Anyhow my sister and her kids have come down for a visit. They got here last night around 9:15. It is nice to see them, I havent seen them in the two months since I moved.

Well that is it for this morning. I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day! XOXO

Almost At My Second Goal!!

Today I stepped on the scale and I am 3lbs away from my second goal!! My BMI is under 30, 29.8 to be exact!! I bought some light weights the other day when we were in town and I am starting to do some exercises with them. 3lbs weights are not that easy to work with when your a weakling like me!

Well I satisfied that horrible craving I had been having, KFC. What a friggin mistake that was. I was so sick afterwards, I dont think I will EVER eat KFC again! Ugh so not worht the misery I was in.

When we went into town we ate breakfast at IHOP, one of the girls favorites. The baby slept the whole time we were in there. She is such a good girl, even when we go into town she is so good. She does tend to get a bit fussy in the car on the way home, but after shopping and being in the car for the whole day it is totally expected!

Last night I made a tri tip, mediterranean veggies, ceasar salad and some cheese bread. Everyone loved it. Dave, Thomas and Brent ate over and they enjoyed it very much. For dessert I bought them this Brownie ice cream pizza. They loved it too. It looked really good, but sooo not worth the tummy ache it would give to me. I will stick to my real food.

I have been drinking these Atkins protein shakes. They are quite nasty but are high in protein and only have 1gram of sugar in them and 180 calories. Good for me but not good tasting. I bought some protein bars for when I start exercising really good and more consistantly. I also bought a new protein shake mix from Trader Joes, it is Whey Protein, never tried it but worth a shot.

Anyhow not much else new to report. Everyone have a great day! XoXoXo~~~Lisa

Decision Making...

I hate having to make a decision. I am so wishy washy with how I feel at times that it makes it very hard. That is probably why it took me ten years to fianally make the decision to leave the life I was so comfortable with, even though I was unhappy, it is hard to make decisions, especially important ones!

Well on to my daily update. Today I am doing good, despite the cramps and lower back pain (o:
We watched a pretty cute movie last night, Over Her Dead Body. The girls and I really enjoyed it, the boys thought it was definately a girly movie, lol!

Tonight I am making Bacon Wrapped Filet Mingon with potatoes and broccoli. Yumm!

Our sweet kitty Isabella is doing good. She loves to be held. She will walk over to my feet and sit there and cry until I pick her up. She is a doll and such a snuggler! I think she is a keeper (o;

Well the baby is waking from her nap so I better run check on her, she is probably wanting her morning snack!!

Take care my friends.....XoXo

Happy Mothers Day!!!

Happy Mothers Day!! My girls are coming home today! I have missed them so much! My parents are bringing them home and will spend the night with us. Then tomorrow we are taking them into Bodie. They have never been and it is something that anyone who comes up to this area should definately not miss! So when you come visit me plan on going to Bodie! LOL!

I am making a Pot Roast in the crock pot for dinner. Along with carrots and a new cheesy potatoe side dish that my friend Rene posted today. It looks absolutely delish! I will let you know tomorrow how it turns out!

Still at 170. BUT I am finally into my 16's. They were still a bit tight but the 18's were too big. Anyhow I found a pair tucked in the back of my closet so I am wearing them today. It feels SOOO nice to to have to keep pulling up my pants when I am walking around. I feel amazing.

Well life is good and I am hoping it will only get better. I have a court date on Thursday so pray that the judge will rule in my favor.

Happy Mothers Day my friends and I will be back tomorrow with another update on The Johnson family Saga....XoXo

Friday's Update....

So I feel soo much better! Im not sure what was going on but man it was awful. But today I feel normal again!

The girls are all gone for the weekend. They went to my moms for my nieces birthday party, which is tomorrow.

So I am officially down to 170lbs! It feels great! I can move without pain, I can sleep without waking up, I can walk and read without getting winded, I never realised all the things that were an issue for me just because of my weight.

Also I am eating healthier than I ever have. I have found so many new foods that I love. Foods that I would not even touch before.

So thats all thats new here. Hope life is good for all you friends of mine!

Rough Day & Night Today

Today I am having some serious dumping issues. This morning I drank my morning cup of coffee and within 30 minutes I was in the bathroom. I was miserable until about 1'ish when I layed down for an hour. Then I woke up feeling a bit better.

This evening we had Tri Tip with BBQ sauce on it and I am dumping again. I feel miserable. I dont feel nauseated just my intestines hurt and I have the chills and a bit of a headache. I cant wait to go to bed here in thirty minutes.

I started watching a movie on Friday and with all the interuptions I just finished it about 30 minutes ago. It was ok, kinda confusing if you dont really pay attention. In the end it was like what???? Oh well, it was called "Micheal Clayton".

Well I will update more tomorrow about our weekend and hopefully I will be feeling better.

Night my friends, XoXo

Happy May 3rd!

Well today is May 3rd. I know it has been several days since I last updated, I am sorry. Life has been crazy here. I am settling into a nice routine of getting up early and going to bed late. By the end of the week I feel exhausted and usually on Saturday and Sunday I take a quick power nap in the early afternoon.

I have hit yet another plateau. I have been the same weight now pretty much all week. I have been super concious this week about my protein consumption. I have been eating lots of protein bars and trying to gag down the shakes. I also have been making sure what I am eating is higher in protein than carbs, except the night we had pizza for dinner.

My clothes are ALL too big now. When I go into town on Monday I am picking up some pants and a few nice shirts. I hate walking around holding my pants because they are falling off, LOL.

Anyhow my brother and his girlfriend came up to spend the weekend. We are going to hang out and BBQ later on. They are taking the firls to the Hot Springs and maybe to Bodie as well. I so wish I could go with them, Bodie is an awsome place. If you have never been I would say it is a must see.

In June I am planning on taking the girls all to Yosemite. We are 26 miles from the East Enterance so not far at all. I have to buy a new camera so I can takes loads of pictures. My camera is broke and it sucks because no more pic updates until I can get a new one.

It rained here last night. It was like all of the sudden it turned black and just downpoured. Then it was done. But the smell, oh my it was heavenly. The smell up here seems so much more concentrated than in the city. It was like we could smell it for an hour before it started to rain. We lost our power for a bit, but then it came back and we were fine all night. It is supposed to be nice for the rest of the day today and then tomorrow it is supposed to thunder storm.

I guess I should go. My daily vitamins are sitting here staring at me...... Have a great day!!!

Happy Birthday!!

Today is Brieanna's 17th birthday! I cant believe how the years have just flown by. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was bringing this tiny bundle of happiness home from the hospital. Time flies!

Today we are having a few friends over this evening. A friend of mine is bringing Brie a cake, Chocolate with chocolate frosting and squiggly streamers on top! I also ordered pizza for our dinner.

Ok I have been working on this for almost two hours now! The baby is teething and all she wants is for me to hold her right now. I set her down and she cries and cries I pick her up and she stops for like ten minutes. You can see her little teeeth wanting to break through the skin. She is FINALLY asleep!

My brother and his GF are coming to visit this weekend. I am so excited because I have not seen any of my family since I left on Easter!

I better run for now I am working, babysitting, blogging, doing laundry AND cleaning house!

Today....Sunday.....(o:

So this morning I stepped on the scale and I have dropped 2.5lbs since I last weighed. I dont understand, the weight loss has slowed alot but my clothes are just now begining to fall off again. I will be down to a size 16 in no time. My 18's are slowly getting too big. Which is nice but also means I will have to shop for some new clothes here soon. Oh boohoo, wah, LOL. I just dont want to buy a bunch of clothes until I am done losing. So I will probably just buy a few essentials. I need new bra's because these ones now look like I am trying to have something I dont. Kinda like wishful thinking(o:

I made Apple Cinnamon Muffins this morning for the guests checking out. They smell so yummy, makes me almost want one.
I am having a high protein cereal bar for brekky this morning. I will make myself a protein shake around 10ish for my morning snack. My back and legs have been hurting soo bad and I wonder if it is because I am not getting enough protein. We shall soon see. Of course it could also be all the walking I have been doing this past week.

For the past week I have had this song in my head. I dont know why because it has literally been years since I have heard it. The song is "I'm Lookin For A New Love" by Jody Whatley.Maybe its just the finality of letting go and moving on. I dont know. All I know is I am NOT looking for anything but happiness at this point in my life. I am happy and content with my life. I would not go backwards if you offered to pay me.

Well thats it for this wonderfully COLD morning. Take care my friends and I will update again soon. XoXo

A Little Down Time

I have a little bit of down time right now. It has been busy all weekend. Tonight I only have 2 rooms available! I have been running back and forth all day, I probably lost tenlbs since Friday morning!! I will weigh myself on Monday morning and we shall see.

Tonight I made Chicken with yellow squash, zuchini, onions and fresh garlic all over Spaghetti Squash. Oh my it was soo good. Erin came over and was like "Lisa this is the best chicken EVER!!" and proceeded to eat it! LOL. So Im guessing she liked it!

It has been absolutely gorgeous up here. It was 68 today and tomorrow should be the same as well. The fisherman here are all super nice and very respectful. I dont have one female staying here at the Silver Maple! The Cain House I have several couples in there tonight, 5 couples. The people who stay there tend to be a little more, snooty, lol. But they are nice as well.

I am looking forward to sleeping in on Monday. Since it is my day off I am just going to relax and enjoy my time. I am going to bed early. I want to make something really yummy for dinner on Monday. Not really sure what just yet though. I am making the kids cinnamon french toast in the morning. They really love it, it comes from our local bakery. It is too sweet for me so I will just have an egg.

Anyhow that is todays update. Hopefully I will have time tomorrow for more (o:

Busy Weekend

So today is the start of my busy weekend. Tomorrow is the fishing opening and we are booked solid. Only a couple rooms in the Cain House available.

Dont know how much I will ba able to update this weekend.

Good Morning

Good Morning from the Sunny Eastern Sierras!! It is gorgeously sunny but cold outside!!! Today starts the weekend rush. I am ready for anything ^_^ today!

Hailey still has this nasty rash. They say that heat, exercise and emotional stress can cause them to relapse. I have no idea what is causing it but this morning it is super bad from her head to her toes. She is bright red and itchy all over. I gave her some benadryl. Doctor says all we can do is treat the symptoms since it is a virus.

I am going into the kitchen to make some cake mix cookies this morning. I have never made them before so wish me luck (o:

Not sure what is on the menu today, not a thing sounds good to me. Well actually pizza, chicken strips, ice cream, lemon bars they all sound good to me but they are all off limits. Anyway I will find something, maybe burritos thats easy and doesnt take any skill...

Working, Being a Single Mom & Life

First off I forgot how tiring it is to work full time and be a full time single mom. I am exhausted this morning. I did not want to get out of bed. I layed there, listening to the damn annoying an heck birds this morning thinking how nice it would be to just sleep in. To just be able to lay there until I felt like getting up. But when you have kids, especially little ones who are dependant on you making their meals for them, that is no longer an option.

It is very cold here right now. It actually snowed/rained last night. It was 23 when I took Hailey to school this morning. Brrrrr! Now it is super windy out there. Thank god for heaters!

So this weekend is the opening of fishing and we are going to be slammed. The hotel is completely booked and the B&B has 3 people staying there. So it is going to be a very busy weekend for us, which will be nice. I am going to make cookies and muffins for the fisherman and pumpkin cookies for their doggies. So everyone is getting spoiled this weekend!

Havent stepped on the scale today. I figured I would give it a couple days and then weigh in again on Friday or Saturday.
I made Beef Stew yesterday, it was very good but the meat for some reason upsets my tummy. I dont know why because I can eat all other kinds of meat with no problem,just not stew meat. Hmm weird. Oh well. Havent decided what is for dinner tonight. Maybe I can just do something quick and easy. I have one check in and one guest staying over. This is my calm before the storm. Tomorrow it becomes crazy.

Anyhow life is good, I am just tired today. But my body will adjust to the long hours again, soon I am sure. But for now I will drink my coffe and pray it keeps me going.

Today....

So my "day off" was not like a real day off. I was in the office 90% of the day. Oh well its not like there was much of anything else to do. We cleaned house in the morning, although I did not get to mop. We had some friends over last night and were up until around midnight. Life is rough going to bed so late and getting up super early. But I am doing it and I am surviving.

I have figured out what the annoying bird is that is outside my window making the god awful dound. It is a Magpie---AKA Mockingbird. When Erinn came in and we were talking about it and she told me what type of bird it was I almost fell out of my chair laughing, because in that movie "Failure To Launch" Sarah Jessica Parkers roommate had a Mockingbird outside her bedroom window that drove her CRAZY! I can totally relate to how she felt. Erinn said once the Owls move in (as it gets warmer we will get more) they will go away (the Owls will eat them, Go Owls).

Not much new on the weightloss front here. Havent lost anything in a few days, but I feel great.

New Job, Food, Exercise and Annoying Birds

Life is good. I love my new job. It is a ton of work but I absolutely love being able to work where I live. I am here 100% for my children and that is super de duper important! I have been on my toes for the last two days. I have been going for 18hrs each day, by the time I hit the pillow I am exhausted! Life is good!

I am having some trouble remembering to eat during the day. If I dont have to feed the girls I tend to forget about myself, then by the time I remember I feel famished, which since I cant eat alot is not good. I wrote myself a note and put it on my desk here by the computer so I will not forget to eat today!

When I went shopping the other day I bought some Nutrigrain bars. They have more sugar in them then I would like but the are high in fiber as well. I had one for breakfast the other day, it took me an hour to eat it, but it was very good. It satisified any sweet tooth I may have been having that morning also.

I have been walking in the mornings. It is really cold and brisk outside and I love to walk in it. I can bundle myself up and just walk. I have been walking about 20 minutes in the mornings and boy does it feel good. Also being in the office for a good part of the day it helps to start the day off outside and moving. So I am going to move my indoor walk to the evening, maybe even before bed. Seems as though I may have hit another plateau, but that is ok.

We have this bird, dont know what type of bird it is but it has the most god-awful sound ever! It has like a horn-telephone-dying electrical appliance-siren sound that it makes. Of course it wants to make this sound at 5am. I will lay in bed and think OMG I didnt know an animal could sound THAT hideous! Hopefully it is gorgeous and that would make up for its annoying sound!

Life is good. Kids are good. I am good.

Another Day Another Dollar

So the hotel and B&B opened this morning. I have been crazy busy this morning. Back and forth all morning. I am finally sitting down and have a bit of time to do a small update.

I weighed the same this morning as I did yesterday morning. I had coffee for brekky, I know brekky of champions, not! Anyway now it is lunch time and I am very hungry, not quite sure yet what to eat.

I was looking at myself in the mirror as I was dressing this morning and I was like wow! I cant believe that just two months ago I weighed almost 60lbs more than I do now! 60lbs is alot of weight, my 7yo weighs 65lbs, thats like losing a whole child!!! I feel great, so much energy.

I was really bad and for a couple weeks I did not take my vitamins and supplements. Well I started taking them again on Monday and let me tell you I feel doubly as good as I did before. I hate taking pills now because I have trouble swallowing them, they always seem to either gag me or I feel like they are stuck. So I take chewable vitamins and calcium and the vitamin b just melts on my tongue.

Anyhow I am loving my new body, smaller body that is. I have to say that people treat me so much different now. I dont know why people tend to be ruder to fat people. I look at people so much different than I ever have before. When I see an overweight person I feel sad for them, because I know the pain they are going through. I know people treat them so much different than they do thinner people. I know how hard it is for them to just live their life daily. I know all this because I was there, I remember not being able to read my daughters books because I would be so out of breath that I would have to stop every other page, I know what it is like to have your weight interfere with your daily routine, with your family life and with your relationships. I know and I truly hope I never become one of those people who are mean and hateful to a person just because of what they look like or their size. You never know what emotional issues a person has that is making them or keeping them over weight.

Ok stepping off the soapbox now (o: I am making the kids Beef Stroganoff for dinner tonight. Brie invited Bakery Boy over for dinner.

Hope everyone has a great day! I sure am!!

Today is a New Day!!!

I know I didnt update yesterday. Sorry, bad me. We left really early and went into town to grocery shop. OMG can you say stressful! I didnt realize that being away from "civilization" for only 3 weeks could make me hate crowds of people so much! I was so happy to finally be home, in our small quaint little town.

So I weighed myself this morning and....... I am 1lb away from 60lbs! Yup 60lbs! I am so happy.....Doin the happy dance brb. LOL!! Today is another busy day here at the Hotel and B&B. We open tomorrow. I cant believe it, it really has come up very fast.

Tonight we are going to try a new restraunt, Bakery Boy works there also. It is Mexican food. Obviously nothing spicy for me so I'll share something with the girls.

Congratulations!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS ALI!!!! Ali won the biggest looser. The first female to ever win. Congrats you look AMAZING!!!

Just dont know

So I had my morning coffee, which consists of half of a cup, probably like 4-6 oz, with creamer and sweet n low. I took an Excedrin cuz I had horriblr cramps and dont have any tylenol and I am no longer allowed to take Motrin or Ibuprophen. Then I had some crackers, my tummy felt ok after, then I drank some water. About 45 minutes later I tried to eat part of a banana and it made me sick. I had one and a half bites and then started to feel very nauseaus. That was at 11:30 and mt tummy still feels icky. I am thinking this all has to do with my hormones and because its that time, but man this is awful, I feel darned icky!!! Oh well I will deal. I have endometriosis and was hoping that loosing the weight would help with these issues. But apparently it is not helping. I am going to lay down for a bit, hopefull that will make me feel better.

Today Is A Sweats Day...

It is unbelievable to me that a person can actually lose weight right before their monthly cycle! Incredible. I figured out why my back was hurting and why I have been so damn emotional. I started my cycle. I feel blah today, but in a good way, if that makes sense. Still the same weight as yesterday.

The girls had a friend over last night until, well late. I call him Bakery Boy, because he works at the local bakery. He is a cutey and Brie is totally crushing. They seem really happy. Even though they complain that its boring here, they are truly happy for the first time in a long time. I dont think people realize what their children go through when your in a bad, unhealthy relationship.

Tonight we are having Chicken, scalloped potatoes and peas for dinner. Last night the bacon and eggs was delish! I made the eggs the way Hailey likes them, with cheese on top!! Even PeeWee and Pongo got spoiled with eggies for dinner!

Just Got Back...

From the doctors. Hailey is doing good, ears look great, rash is better and no bladder infection. Brittany passed her sports physical so she can finally play at her softball games. Watchout girls!!

Today has been a busy day just doing things around the office trying to get ready for opening this weekend. Wow there is alot to do. The maids have started cleaning the rooms, and the guys are making my property look pretty. I am so excited.

Tonight we are having breakfast for dinner. Eggs, potatoes and bacon. Yummmm!!

Another Pound Gone.....

So this morning I got on the scale and weighed myself. I am out of the 180's! Do you know what that means? I am only 14lbs away from where I was when I met Bobby over ten years ago! I am excited about that. My skin is starting to be loose, dont get me wrong, NOT saggy just loose. I am starting to bruise quite easily so I dont know about that. I have been told it is normal to go through that, almost like its a stage you go through. I am NOT looking forward to losing my hair. It is already starting to come out, so I guess I gotta up the protein.

I had a rough weekend. Saturday it was an emotional mess for me. Then on Sunday I ate something a bit too spicy for my tummy and I suffered. So moral of that story is I wont be eating anything spicy, not meaning hot spicy but just with alot of spices in it.

Hailey and Brittany both have doctors appointments today. Hailey so the dr can recheck her and Britt for a sports physical. So we will head over there this afternoon.

This morning I have a meeting here at work. The Hotel and B&B open on Friday so we have tons of work this week. Well the maids and the maintainance men do, I have lots of office paperwork to do.

Not to sure what we are doing for dinner, maybe breakfast, that sounds so yummy to me. Breakfast for dinner. Yeah thats what we will have.

I am sure I will update again today because I am sure there are things I missed. Have a great day!!

Today Is A Good Day :o)

So I got some big news to share. Last night I went to a friends house for dinner (because I burned my dinner). She too has had GBS and like me keeps her scale in the kitchen. So I stepped on her scale, hmmmhmm, look down WOAH, so I grab Hailey and have her come stand on the scale, yup same thing, her scale is 5lbs lighter than mine. So I told her and she said that her scale is right on because she just got home from the Police Academy in LA and they weigh you when you leave and when you come back. So all this time my scale has been off! That makes my total weight loss...... 55lbs!!! WoooHoooo! **Doing The Happy Dance** So my piece of poopoo scale is being replaced this week. I want one of those nice Weight Watchers scales, but we will see. My scale is an ancient thing that my MIL gave me because she never could get it to work. Anywhooo today is a good day. I am working almost all day at the Lodge, 9-12 then 3-9, so I have to finish getting ready and take the beasts out front for a few. I just wanted to share the happiness with those I love!!!!

Well...

I am sad to say that my Cream Cheese Chicken.... Well I burned the chicken..... Yes I am saddened by it...... It was supposed to taste so good too.....

I had a part of a banana for breakfast thismorning! It was wonderful to finally eat a piece of fruit again. It was yummy and it sat very well in there. For lunch I had 3 bites of a PB an strawberry jelly sandwich. I was concerned about the jelly but it too sat very well!

We are going to a friends house this evening for dinner since mine kinda didnt turn out too well, boohoo.

Hailey has been sick all week and bathing has not been too comfortable for her. So her baths have been very cool and very fast. Well this morning I looked at her hair and was like, ewwww yuck girlfriend Fairy Princesses have soft clean hair. So she went and washed her hair. I swear it looked like she was starting dread locks it was so bad. So now my Fairy Princess is clean with soft sweet smelling hair (thank god).

I Wanna Be A Fairy Princess....

I have decided that I want to be a Fairy Princess! Why is it that only my 7 yr old can run around the house saying she is one? So I told her this morning that mommy is also a Fairy Princess today :o) So today my girls and I are Fairy Princesses!

So this morning my weight is still the same. But that is not surprising to me. I am happy where I am at. My energy is amazing! Yesterday I cleaned house, went for a walk, made dinner AND stayed up til 9pm!! Yay me! I am amazed at my energy level. I am amazed that those 50lbs slowed me down so much. I cant imagine it anymore. I do know that I never want to go back! I am very happy with my results.

Over the past few weeks I have made some very, very encouraging online frinds on a (gulp) Food Forum! Yes a food forum. You may wonder why I am frequenting a FF when I know my issues with food. Well that is just it I know my issues and I am no longer allowing food to run my life. We share recipes and what we are eating and I can live vicariously through them (with some things I no longer eat). They are a wonderful group of people and oh so encouraging! Love you gals!!

Today I am making a recipe I found on the FF. Crockpot Cream Cheese Chicken. SOunds so yummy and I am very excited. I have found several recipes on the FF that I will be trying in the upcoming weeks. I have also found ways to tweak recipes and make them healthier. Cutting sugar and adding Splenda, dropping spaghetti noodles adding spaghetti squash. Yes sometime I do have to sit and think, how can I make this more healthy, but isnt that what a lifestyle change is all about?

The Hotel and B & B open next weekend. I am so excited. This is going to be so much fun. I love being able to work right here where I live. I know we are going to be crazy busy the following weekend since it is the opening of fishing. I am so looking forward to it. I love meeting new people and now with my weightloss it is not intimidating to me. I am not constantly wondering what they are thinking of me, the fat girl. I have to say it has boosted my self confidence at least one notch, so far!

I better run for now. I have some Fairy Princess stuff to do........

Walking Video

Wooohooo I found my walking video. It is an indoor 1 mile walk. There is 3 different intensities. Each walk is 15 minutes with 10 minutes of stretching. I am going to start it in the morning. Yay me, haha Hailey says that all the time!!

Cleaning House!

This morning same routine, I am the same weight as yesterday. Good Good!

Brie and I got up and cleaned the whole downstairs this morning. I woke up with the cleaning bug, Brie must have too.
Last night was a early night, we went to bed at 8. I must have needed the rest because both Hailey and I were out as soon as the story was over. I woke up feeling nice and refreshed this morning.
We had oatmeal for breakfast and of course coffee. For lunch Im not too sure yet. Dinner is Chicken Quesadillas, yumm-o.
It is a gorgeous day today, so we will be spending most of it outside in the warm california sun, lol. It should be in the 50's here today! NICE!!
I will update later this evening. Have a AWSOME day my friends!!

Tonight

Well not much new tonight. I feel run down and tired. It is almost that time so thats probably what is going on. My lower and upper back are hurting really bad. I will be calling it an early night tonight. Once I get the girls tucked in I will be tucking myself in. I have some huge bruises that I noticed today, one on the top of my foot and the other on my upper thigh. I also have a huge zit on my chin (boohoo). Who woulda thought almost 32 and still getting zits, lol! It hurts too, waaaaahh. Yeah I am a baby when it comes to pain. So depending on how Hailey is feeling we may be heading up to Fairfield in the morning. If she is not better than we wont be going. I know it will upset my family but I have to keep my little one comfortable. The dr said the elevation change wouldnt be good for her ears right now. We would actually have to go up to come down, because of the summit, an the dr said it could cause them to rupture. So I am hoping they dont get too mad, I really want to go down. Oh. they are having my grandma's memorial on Saturday morning. They had her funeral last month but now they are having a memorial service for her. ANyway I had a tiny piece of leftover chicken for dinner tonight. The kids had leftover spaghetti. Tomorrow we are having grilled chicken and mozzerella cheese quesadillas for dinner. Anywho I am going to go for tonight. I will update more in the morning. Night Friends :o)

This Morning, So Far

I got up and did my ritual weigh myself and make coffe. Well I am down another 1.5lbs from yesterday! I am thrilled! I a only 1.5lbs away from 50lbs now. I know I keep saying almost 50, almost 50 but now 50 is coming closer and closer, soon I will pass it by, waving of course.
I was laying in bed thinking last night how flat my poor boobs are now, lol. I have realised a couple other things:
1. I have shoulders now, like you can see the bones, their not these huge beefsteaks anymore!
2. I have hip bones now and laying on my side will hurt them
3. I have a bony butt and taking baths is not nearly as enjoyable although I do not touch both sides of the tub anylonger, which believe me is so nice
4. My double chin is long gone, Sianara baby, dont you come back!!
5. When I lay down I have a completely FLAT stomach (of course everything else is flat too now) I havent layed down with a flat tummy in centuries it seems, but now when I lay dow poof its gone!!!

Wooohoooo

I got up this morning after a horrible nights sleep, I think that nap yesterdat had something to do with it, and was feeling pretty crappy. So I do my daily ritual, come downstairs, remove my nightpants (ya know the extra weight cuz they weigh so much) and step on the scale. Fully expecting to be what I was day before I just casually looked down, 188! OMG! 188! OMG! I havent been in the 180's since BEFORE Bobby and I got married, before I got pregnant with Hailey, 9 years it has been! I am so excited this morning. I feel wonderful today.
I made myself a small pot of coffee and took Hailey to school, yes the child needed to go to school today. Her rash is getting better but it is still very present throughout her body. The hydrocortisone and Benadryl seem to be helping. She doesnt have much of an appetite so I am thinking that it has something to do with her being so sick. She has been cranky and moody as well. None of the other kids seem to be coming down with this so I am very thankful of that.
Hailey went to her first night of Girl Scouts last night. She had so much fun, she is a Daisy! All the girls are in her class (duh there is only 1 2nd grade class an she is in it), they were happy to see her there. They are taking a trip out of town for a sleepover next weekend. Hailey really wants to go but I am not so sure. We just moved here and she doesnt sleep over at other peoples houses. I am going to have to do alot of thinking here. I called Bobby for his input and he said "well your the mom go with whatever your gut tells you". Thanks alot buddy i wanted more than that! Oh well she starts T-Ball tonight and we will see how that goes.
I am going to treat myself to some Butternut Squash for lunch today. Yumm-O!!

8 Weeks Today

Today it has been 8 weeks since I had my surgery. I thank the lord I am doing as good as I am. I have heard horror stories of how peoples bodies reacted after surgery.

Tonight will be a celebration night, to celebrate 8 weeks since my second chance at life was given to me. I am going to make something healthy, yet yummy for delicious for dinner and we are going to watch a movie and then "The Biggest Loser" together. I love that show, I hope the girl in the pink wins cuz DAMN she has worked hard and looks awsome!!!!

Anyway maybe more later, kinda feeling lazy today. Hailey is home again, itchy with a tummy ache.

Hailey Update...

Hailey has been suffering from this unknown rash for the past few days that has been increasingly getting worse. I called the school and they said Scarlet Fever is going around, great. Well I called the clinic and was told no it was not Scarlet Fever, that was just the ranting of a hysterically crazy mom, those were the nurses words I swear to bob! So it has been determined that Hailey has Fifths Disease, also known as the Human Parvovirus. At this point she is no longer contagious, once the rash develops they are not contagious. So the only thing now is to keep her comfortable. So she is enjoying being babied.

Hrmph....

Well I stepped on the scale this morning and I am up 1lb, ugh! It seems like I fluctuate daily. I am a little stressed because my pumpkin (Hailey) is sick. She has this horrible rash and I called the school to tell them she was going to the dr for a rash and they said "Have them check for Scarlet Fever, we have two students out from it right now.". Great that is all we need right now. Hopefully I can still get a short walk in today even with her home sick, it is always hard when one of the kids are sick. Well I will update later, hopefull with some better news.

Today...

So I stepped on the scale this morning and finally, oh finally I have hit 190lbs! I cant wait to be in the 180's again, it has been ages since I have seen those numbers on MY scale, lol! Last night I had a quarter of a ham and cheese sandwich for dinner, it was good but not as satisfying as say a hard boiled egg, maybe it is the protein or maybe its just that the bread is not so satisfying for me anymore, I am not sure. So when I got home from work I had a hard boiled egg and was completely satisfied. I have some really off the walll cravings also. I have found that I am craving and I mean really craving mustard. I have never ever been a real mustard fan but I have been eating it on everything, Meatloaf, eggs, crackers, toast etc.

Today Bobby is coming up to visit and I am making a nice dinner for them. Chicken Parmigiana, Alfredo Pasta & Butternut Squash (yum-o). I will probbly only have a bite of chicken and some of the squash. But it does sound so yummy to me. Anyway I will try and update this evening, if not tonight then I will tomorrrow. I will try and get some pictures up also. Bye Friends *waves*

Junk Food and Saying NO!

Ya know I just realized that we have tons of junk in our house. Before Easter I bought a bad of Nestle Chocolate Variety Eggs at Costco, half went to the church and half went into the candy dish. Back in January I ordered 7 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, they just came in and so they are sitting in my cabinet. The kids still have Easter candy from their baskets. So there is all this junk food sitting around and I have not even been tempted once by it. I always look at the sugar content in everything now and I break it down in my head ok 3 Thin Mint cookies are 13grams of suagr so if I had 1 it would only be like 4.3grams of sugar, still under my limit but I do not want to get my body accustomed to sugars again, at least not right now. I am totally enjoying being sugar free. Yesterday at the bakery I looked at all the yummy looking pasteries and was not even tempted by any of them except one, A Spinach and Feta Cheese Croissant, it really looked yummy, but not knowing how it would settle in my tummy is enough for me to pass anything, even things in my past I have super loved. I made the kiddos their Cinnamon French Toast today with the fresh Cinnamon Bread I bought them yesterday and I had my hard boiled egg for breakfast. Saying no and seeing some peoples face is priceless, or going out to eat somewhere and only being able to eat a couple bites and the waiter/ess asks if everything was ok because I left so much. It really is a goood feeling. I have started losing again I am down another 1 1/2lbs since day before yesterday. I have found out that the more fluids I take in the better I feel and the more weight I seem to lose, but I also have to eat so it is still a bit tricky, but it works.

Today...

I tried a crossant! It was very good. I only ate a little bit but it was enough and so satisfying. I think before my surgery I didnt really know how to truly enjoy my food. I always ate so fast and so much that I felt miserable afterwards. Well today I enjoy every bite of food I take. I savor it. I am begining to understand that I had an eating disorder, maybe not anorexia or bulimia but over eating is a eating disorder. I am l earning how to enjoy foods in smaller quantities, how to enjoy eating slowly and how to NOT eat when I am upset or stressed. This whole situation is a learning process, reteaching yourself the basics of Healthy Eating 101.

I AM So Embarassed...

Because it has been almost a month since I have updated my blog! I have become one of those blog owners who doesnt update frequently. Shame on me!! But I do have an excuse! On March 20 I lost my Grandma. It was so very hard because as you all know on February 16 I lost my other Grandma. I was very very close to both my Grandmas and to lose them both in a months time was like shock to my heart. I will miss them both every day for as long as I walk this earth, because when I am no longer here I will be with them dancing in Heaven!
On Easter Sunday the kids and I packed up and moved! We packed our belongings and left Fairfield. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, walking away from my marriage, but I know that the life I am providing for my children here is much better (not to mention less stressfull) than the life we lived there. Of course change is always hard and I do miss him very much but ya know what they say about bad habits? They are hard to break.

So now onto my weightloss update!!!
I have lost close to 50lbs at this point. I feel wonderful. I am still drug free (just taking those daily vitamins and the pepcid). My blood sugars have been amazing. I test my blood every morning and my fasting sugars are usually 89 every morning! This is great because before surgery my fastings were between 145 and 165 every morning! My blood pressure is staying low around 110/70 which again is awsome because I was on several BP pills and my BP was 145/90 typically! So this is wonderful.
My diet. I still struggle with wanting those things that are bad for me, I think it will always be a struggle for me, but now I know how to say no. I have maintained the 5grams of sugar or less rule. I have not tried any sweets or soda, you all know how big of a baby I am when it comes to pain in my stomach.
This last week I had a small serving of Tuna Casserole and it sat surprisingly well in my tummy. As most of you know I have had a phobia of pasta, because of all those horror stories I have heard!
My main diet includes many of the folllowing:
Hard Boiled Eggs
Egg Beaters
Cheese
Spaghetti Squash (YUM-O)
Butter Squash
Beef Jerky
Protein Shakes
Pork
Chicken
Tuna (out of the can)
Broccoli

I have learned how to cook for my family very healthy. I have made some of our old favorites in more healthy ways. Spaghetti Squash instead of Pasta with the Meat sauce. It really is surprisingly good. I read all labels now. Guess what I found? Wal-Mart has a drink mix kinda like the Crystal Lights and they have Sugar Free Apple Juice! Guess what my kids drink now? Yup no more Apple Juice with 30+ grams of sugar in 6oz. It is all about healthier choices and portion control. I have found splenda makes baking sugars and brown sugar as well. There will no longer be tons of sugar in our homemade cookies, cakes and candies. My marinades have also substituted the suagrs with splenda, and you can not tell the difference.

I can handle most things surprisingly well. I have only had one issue with terrible pain and nauseau. This was the day before our move and I had a breadstick for dinner. I think I ate it either too fast or too much because I was so sick. I have found that I cant throw up. I was so nauseaus that night, sitting over the toilet trying to throw up thinking it would make me feel better but no, I could not get it to come up. The nice thing is it only lasts 30 minutes. I layed there on the floor for those thirty minutes agonzing. But once it was over it was over.
I dont regret the decision I made. The only thing I regret is not doing it a couple years ago when I first went in for the consult.

Living up here we dont have any fast food restraunts. We dont have those temptations, but there are others. I have cooked for my children every single night. I am loving my new life and the new outlook I have on life. I will not take my second chance at life for granted!!!

A Milestone Hit!

Ok so I was starting to get bummed, starting to think I had hit a major bump in the road. I actually woke up yesterday morning saying to myself "Face it Lisa, you went through all this, surgery, diet and lifestyle change, giving up the one thing that was constant in your life (food), and the sacrifice and face it your going to stay this weight forever", it had been almost 7 days and I had not lost one pound, which was kinda hard because I was losing like 2-3lbs per day in the begining. Well I got my half depressed butt up and went straight to the scale and I was down 3lbs! I was so excited, I called several people just to tell them. I have officially hit the 40lb lost mark!! Whoot Whoot!!
I find hunger is not an issue for me, thirst is. Sometimes I get super thirsty and have to sit down and drink a glass of water, it takes me awhile to drink 8oz. But Im getting the job done. This last weekend I splurged a bit, had a bit of junk food. Friday night i had chicken nuggets (2) and Saturday I had some Sun Chips with Nacho Cheese sauce and I ate 2 of those cocktail weiners. They sat fine in my stomach. But I was reminded by a friend that this is a lifestyle change and I shouldnt be eating this way, especially after all I went through to get here! I dont buy the junk food because I dont want to eat it but my parents still buy it and I was at their house. I guess I need to learn to remember to bring my own food when I go somewhere that I know will not have appropriate food for me to eat.
Here at home we have settled in to the new lifestyle quite nicely. I do not buy soda for us. If they want soda they have it elsewhere. Soda is a downfall for me. I love soda and I do not want the temptation anywhere around me or in my home. This also goes for candy, cookies, chips and other various snack foods. We have been eating ALOT of chicken. Chicken and veggies are the staples of our weekly meals. We have gone out to eat and I have made very healthy choices for myself, either ordering plain eggs, or eggs with cheese and diced ham on them, very cheap!
I struggle. I struggle everyday. I want KFC, I want Taco Bell, I want that big double bacon cheeseburger with fries and a coke. I want all these things but I know the reality. The reality is that those things are the things that got me right here where I am, fat overweight and very unhealthy!!
This has been a huge change for my family as well. It is very hard on them but I do know in the end they will be healthier for my changes. My changes are benefitting the whole family. I can say I will never for one minute regret the decision I made to have the Gastric Bypass Surgery. It has brought some incredible changes to my life and gave my children probably 10-20 more years with their mother.
I have some friends out there who are brutally honest with me. Thank you! I need it, believe me I would rather my friends be brutally honest with me and help me than to just ignore mistakes and possible setbacks I am having or possibly causing myself. I love you guys!!

Finally an AFTER!!!

Finally, today I am an after!

I had my surgery on Tuesday February 12th at 8:30am. I was so scared. I had a great friend whom I spoke with on the phone just minutes before they wheeled me back and she helped to settle my nerves.

They wheeled me into this room where there was so much commotion going on it was hard to think, maybe they do this on purpose, but there was like 6 or 8 beds all surounded by anesthisiologists(sp) I had 3 of my very own! I started to cry, I was so nervous and so excited, this is what I had been waiting all these months for and it was finally here! So they wheeled me into the OR. I had an awsome anestesia(again sp) guy, he was so calm and made me feel very comfortable. The last couple things I remember is 1. Thinking man this does NOT look like Grey's Anatomy al ALL! and 2. These men have such nice facial hair.........
I woke up at 3:30pm in recovery with my husband by my side. He was truly happy to see that I was, well Alive! My girls Brieanna and Brittany came in next and sat with me for a few minutes. Then I was out again. I woke at 10:30pm being transported to my room.
I have given birth MANY times, this pain is WORSE, magnified 100 times to childbirth. I would have popped another baby out with much less pain than this was. But it was worth every minute of the pain I have suffered!
Bobby has made a wonderful caretaker this past week. The girls have been sooo helpful with each other and with keeping the house picked up.
I had my staples removed yesterday and that in itself is a whole other blog, which I will write later. For now I am going to go and enjoy a nice cold glass of Crystal Light, mmmmm

The Night Before

So tonight is the night before surgery. I am nervous, scared, excited all mixed into one! Tonight has been killer on my body as well.

I started the bowel cleanse at 2pm. By 6pm I seriously thought I was going to die. I did not realise a person could go #2 that much and that liquidy for that long of a time and still survive! I did throw up once. Brieanna was so awsome she sat right by my side through it all. I was laying on the bathroom floor, naked, felling like I was going to die, wanting, for a brief moment, to die. But it did pass and I am better now. I did for about 5 minutes question the decision I have made.

Tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow is a new begining for me.

OMG FINALLY!!!!

Okay! Finally! I cant wait!! I am so excited!!! Yet then again so nervous too!!! Know what I am so excited about? My insurance company approved my appeal and I am scheduled to have my surgery on Tuesday, February 12th!!! It has been 8 months since I began the process. Never in my wildest dreams did I think, in the begining that is, that this journey would be quite this long. It has been an exciting journey full of ups and downs.

Today we are throwing my mom a surprise 50th birthday party. I will enjoy my final meal this evening with my family. I enjoyed a night out with the girls last night, yeah I enjoyed myself a little too much, LOL. Tomorrow morning I will begin my liquid diet consisting of all clear liquids. Then Monday morning I pre-op and start my bowel prep/cleanse. Then Tuesday morning I will have my surgery. I have been told there is a 1-2 night hospital stay and those are the worst days.

I know I wont regret this decision. I am ready to get myself healthy. I want to live so I can see my children grow and graduate from high school get married and have children of their own.

I will be sure to post when I get home from the hospital. Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers!

There are no words to express my gratitude to those of you who have supported me through this. Thank you so so much!!!