Wow It Sure Has Been Awhile!!!!

I cant believe the last time i updated my blod was on July 6th! Man that seems like ages ago, so much has happend since then! Im just going to start flowing and ya'll can read or just skim through!
So the weekend after the 4th of July I went to Fairfield to meet up with some friends for lunch. I missed them all so much that I had to go back and see them, even though I was piss ass tired the following day, lol! Most of yoou know I had agreed to give it one more go with Bobby and I. Which only proved me to be the fool once again.
He had stayed the weekend of 4th of July with me and things seemed great until he got this phone call from, well I am going to call her "B" since I cnt call her anything else nice. Well he had been seeing her back when I moved, which is ok. But when we decided to try to work things out I figured he would break it off with her. Well I was wrong. She called and he got all giddy like a HS teenager talking to their new love. Ok I dismissed it as I was being weird.
Then I came down and we had agreed to have dinner as a family together that Monday. Well he was texting her through our entire meal. I was pissed and hurt all at the same time. I really dont know what he was expecting from me but I think he got alot more then he was wanting. I decided at that point I am not going to be anyones second choice. I deserve to be someones everything and obviously he isnt going to make me that, so its over. The divorce is still going forward and I will never turn down that road again. That chapter in my book of life is over. We will be friends, but never anything more then that. I have hired someone to finish everything for me so I dont have to deal with the bs of it all anymore.
I have been having a few issues with my stomach lately. It seems upset alot of the time. I have been really watching wht I am eating, but it seems like anything and everything I am eating right now is making me sick.
I have been eating a ton (well not a ton because I cant eat that much, lol) of salads, chicken, cheese and beef jerky. Drinking lots of water and Ice tea. Still not drinking any soda or juices. Have not added any kind of sugar back into my diet either. Dont eat the bread or rice and really limit my pasta to about once or twice a month, if that.
I am down to 143lbs! I wear a size 10. I feel amazing, I have so much energy and can do things I never ever thought I would do again. I have a major self confidence/esteem issue. Although in my clothes I know I have lost all this weight, When I look in the mirror I still see the 242lb girl in front of me! I am hoping this is just a phase I am going through because man I dont want to go through the rest of my life with these issues. I tell my girls they are gorgeous exactly how they are, not to worry about what others think of them and their bodies, but here I am stressing about how I look and how fat I look and how much and what I eat. My little ones are still very impressionable and I dont want to pass this off on to them. I want my kids to be comfortable in their bodies, as long as they are healthy and not over weight they are perfect!
Anyway, thats my life and weight update for now. I promise to try and notg o a month without updating again!
XoXoXo to all who read this!!!!!