Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Came & Went

WoW! One year came and went! It was here and then it was gone as quickly as it came! I have hit my goal weight. I weigh 125lbs and wear a size 4. I am healthy and happy and active and enjoying every aspect of my life! My life has finally begun! I have recently gone through some very personal struggles that I'm not sure how I would have handled them without the strength I have gained over the past year.

I am truly enjoying all that life has to offer me at this point in my life. I have made some awsome new friends. I have lost some old friends, who looking back were never really friends at all, but mere people passing through my life. People who made me stronger and more self reliant than I have ever been before.

Over the past couple months I have really struggled with being very discontent with where I am in my life. I moved to a city, where a person whom I thought was my best friend lived. But it turns out she too was one of those people who spent the last 8 years "just passing through" my life. I dislike where I live so much that coming back here seems to make me physically feel ill. I know its all in my head, but i seriously can not wait to move out of this place.

Here is something that this disasterous move has taught me...How to be self reliant! I found Lisa. I realised that I can survive on my own without a man to care for me and my children! I have self confidence, self esteem & I know that regardless of if I have a man in my life or not I will survive! I dont think I would have learned all this about myself had I not made this move. For the very first time in my entire life I am Happy!

I thik I will always struggle with self image issues. I believe every woman has things about herself that she dislikes, of course some more then others. I can relate to a woman who has been heavy and to a woman who has been thin. I can relate to women who are heavy now after years of being thin and vice versa. I see woman who are heavy and grossly obese and I feel sorry for them. I have this place in my heart that aches for them because I know the misery and the peronal hell they are living with. I wish every woman had the same opportunity that I had. I know they dont but I do believe everyone deserves this chance in life!

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