11 months today!

Well its been 11 months since the day that forever changed my life! I am so grateful to have been able to have had this opportunity. Everything about my life has changed. My outlook, the way I live, the way I look at food, the way I handle my issues, when I say everything I truly mean everything about my life is completely different.

When I started this journey I did not realise that not only would my body be transformed but also everything about me as well. I have become a completely different woman in the past 11 months. I think there have been both good changes along with bad changes, but for the most part I am happy with the woman that I have become.

I have lost 118lbs from my highest weight. That means I am almost half the size that I was this time last year. I still have trouble eating bread, pasta and rice, although I truly think this is mental. I allow myself tiny portions every now and then and when I do it does not bother me too badly. I still watch my sugar intake, only allowing myself the recomended amount of sugar. Although I am quickly approaching the one year mark and should be able to tolerate the sugar more and more, I just have not added it back into my diet.

So many changes in my life. So many things that have happened in the last few months. I dont even really know where to begin. A few things I will share with you, some good some bad.

We'll start with the not bad, but kinda OCD thing I deal with on a daily basis. So I now weigh 127lbs. I fluctuate from 127-130 on a daily basis. I know this because I weigh myself twice a day. Once when I wake up, it the first thing I do every morning. I strip down to nithing and step on the scale. Before bed I strip down to nothing and step on the scale. My scale tracks my weights and so I keep a very close track of what I weigh, every day. I know this sound compulsive, kinda strange, but I am scared to death of gaining weight back. Now I know in my head I am not fat, but I have a hard time convincing myself of it. I have this super cute pair of size 5 jeans. I look at them every time I put them on and say to myself "God those are small, no way your going to fit your fat ass into them" when I get them on I am truly amazed, every time. My daughter gave me this pair of size 2 jeans, jeans that are too big for her, I can get them up, not buttoned (yet), but I can get them up. I have not even been able to look at a size two since jr high school.

Next is my self confidence level has risen to new heights. I dont even think in high school I had the self confidence that I have now. I meet new people and I enjoy it. I dont feel like I have to sell myself so much anymore. I am who I am, I am Lisa Johnson (soon to be Richardson again), like me for me and if you dont well Im sorry there is nothing that I am going to try to do about that. I met someone a few months ago who is incredible. I am truly amazed that there really are men out there who treat women the way this man treats me. He is kind, gentle, caring, sweet, loving and I guess the only downfall is that he doesnt ride a white horse and his name is not prince charming, lol. He truly is a wonderful man whom I have fallen head over heels in love with over the past almost 5 months. My kids love him and also love the way he treats me. I couldnt ask for more, honestly.

Along with this new self confidence I have found the confidence to go back to school. Something in which Tom has encouraged in me. In August I will be applying to the nursing program at our local college. I have 4 classes to finish up this semester and hopefully will be accepted into the program to begin Jan 2010. Yes I am super excited, this has been a dream of mine for a long time.

I am still working at the hotel. I love my job and the people I work for are amazing. I dont think I could have asked for a better family to work for. They have become like my family.

Moving to Bridgeport, Ca has been the most exciting adventure of my life. It has definately had its ups and downs but for the most part I love it here and do not regret my decision to move here. I do know that I will not spend the rest of my life in this small town. This city girl misses things like Macy's, Vistoria's Secret, Target and Raley's!! I miss people and the anonymity of living in the big city. I no longer wish to be where everybody knows my name...