Happy Birthday!!

Today is Brieanna's 17th birthday! I cant believe how the years have just flown by. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was bringing this tiny bundle of happiness home from the hospital. Time flies!

Today we are having a few friends over this evening. A friend of mine is bringing Brie a cake, Chocolate with chocolate frosting and squiggly streamers on top! I also ordered pizza for our dinner.

Ok I have been working on this for almost two hours now! The baby is teething and all she wants is for me to hold her right now. I set her down and she cries and cries I pick her up and she stops for like ten minutes. You can see her little teeeth wanting to break through the skin. She is FINALLY asleep!

My brother and his GF are coming to visit this weekend. I am so excited because I have not seen any of my family since I left on Easter!

I better run for now I am working, babysitting, blogging, doing laundry AND cleaning house!

Today....Sunday.....(o:

So this morning I stepped on the scale and I have dropped 2.5lbs since I last weighed. I dont understand, the weight loss has slowed alot but my clothes are just now begining to fall off again. I will be down to a size 16 in no time. My 18's are slowly getting too big. Which is nice but also means I will have to shop for some new clothes here soon. Oh boohoo, wah, LOL. I just dont want to buy a bunch of clothes until I am done losing. So I will probably just buy a few essentials. I need new bra's because these ones now look like I am trying to have something I dont. Kinda like wishful thinking(o:

I made Apple Cinnamon Muffins this morning for the guests checking out. They smell so yummy, makes me almost want one.
I am having a high protein cereal bar for brekky this morning. I will make myself a protein shake around 10ish for my morning snack. My back and legs have been hurting soo bad and I wonder if it is because I am not getting enough protein. We shall soon see. Of course it could also be all the walking I have been doing this past week.

For the past week I have had this song in my head. I dont know why because it has literally been years since I have heard it. The song is "I'm Lookin For A New Love" by Jody Whatley.Maybe its just the finality of letting go and moving on. I dont know. All I know is I am NOT looking for anything but happiness at this point in my life. I am happy and content with my life. I would not go backwards if you offered to pay me.

Well thats it for this wonderfully COLD morning. Take care my friends and I will update again soon. XoXo

A Little Down Time

I have a little bit of down time right now. It has been busy all weekend. Tonight I only have 2 rooms available! I have been running back and forth all day, I probably lost tenlbs since Friday morning!! I will weigh myself on Monday morning and we shall see.

Tonight I made Chicken with yellow squash, zuchini, onions and fresh garlic all over Spaghetti Squash. Oh my it was soo good. Erin came over and was like "Lisa this is the best chicken EVER!!" and proceeded to eat it! LOL. So Im guessing she liked it!

It has been absolutely gorgeous up here. It was 68 today and tomorrow should be the same as well. The fisherman here are all super nice and very respectful. I dont have one female staying here at the Silver Maple! The Cain House I have several couples in there tonight, 5 couples. The people who stay there tend to be a little more, snooty, lol. But they are nice as well.

I am looking forward to sleeping in on Monday. Since it is my day off I am just going to relax and enjoy my time. I am going to bed early. I want to make something really yummy for dinner on Monday. Not really sure what just yet though. I am making the kids cinnamon french toast in the morning. They really love it, it comes from our local bakery. It is too sweet for me so I will just have an egg.

Anyhow that is todays update. Hopefully I will have time tomorrow for more (o:

Busy Weekend

So today is the start of my busy weekend. Tomorrow is the fishing opening and we are booked solid. Only a couple rooms in the Cain House available.

Dont know how much I will ba able to update this weekend.

Good Morning

Good Morning from the Sunny Eastern Sierras!! It is gorgeously sunny but cold outside!!! Today starts the weekend rush. I am ready for anything ^_^ today!

Hailey still has this nasty rash. They say that heat, exercise and emotional stress can cause them to relapse. I have no idea what is causing it but this morning it is super bad from her head to her toes. She is bright red and itchy all over. I gave her some benadryl. Doctor says all we can do is treat the symptoms since it is a virus.

I am going into the kitchen to make some cake mix cookies this morning. I have never made them before so wish me luck (o:

Not sure what is on the menu today, not a thing sounds good to me. Well actually pizza, chicken strips, ice cream, lemon bars they all sound good to me but they are all off limits. Anyway I will find something, maybe burritos thats easy and doesnt take any skill...

Working, Being a Single Mom & Life

First off I forgot how tiring it is to work full time and be a full time single mom. I am exhausted this morning. I did not want to get out of bed. I layed there, listening to the damn annoying an heck birds this morning thinking how nice it would be to just sleep in. To just be able to lay there until I felt like getting up. But when you have kids, especially little ones who are dependant on you making their meals for them, that is no longer an option.

It is very cold here right now. It actually snowed/rained last night. It was 23 when I took Hailey to school this morning. Brrrrr! Now it is super windy out there. Thank god for heaters!

So this weekend is the opening of fishing and we are going to be slammed. The hotel is completely booked and the B&B has 3 people staying there. So it is going to be a very busy weekend for us, which will be nice. I am going to make cookies and muffins for the fisherman and pumpkin cookies for their doggies. So everyone is getting spoiled this weekend!

Havent stepped on the scale today. I figured I would give it a couple days and then weigh in again on Friday or Saturday.
I made Beef Stew yesterday, it was very good but the meat for some reason upsets my tummy. I dont know why because I can eat all other kinds of meat with no problem,just not stew meat. Hmm weird. Oh well. Havent decided what is for dinner tonight. Maybe I can just do something quick and easy. I have one check in and one guest staying over. This is my calm before the storm. Tomorrow it becomes crazy.

Anyhow life is good, I am just tired today. But my body will adjust to the long hours again, soon I am sure. But for now I will drink my coffe and pray it keeps me going.

Today....

So my "day off" was not like a real day off. I was in the office 90% of the day. Oh well its not like there was much of anything else to do. We cleaned house in the morning, although I did not get to mop. We had some friends over last night and were up until around midnight. Life is rough going to bed so late and getting up super early. But I am doing it and I am surviving.

I have figured out what the annoying bird is that is outside my window making the god awful dound. It is a Magpie---AKA Mockingbird. When Erinn came in and we were talking about it and she told me what type of bird it was I almost fell out of my chair laughing, because in that movie "Failure To Launch" Sarah Jessica Parkers roommate had a Mockingbird outside her bedroom window that drove her CRAZY! I can totally relate to how she felt. Erinn said once the Owls move in (as it gets warmer we will get more) they will go away (the Owls will eat them, Go Owls).

Not much new on the weightloss front here. Havent lost anything in a few days, but I feel great.

New Job, Food, Exercise and Annoying Birds

Life is good. I love my new job. It is a ton of work but I absolutely love being able to work where I live. I am here 100% for my children and that is super de duper important! I have been on my toes for the last two days. I have been going for 18hrs each day, by the time I hit the pillow I am exhausted! Life is good!

I am having some trouble remembering to eat during the day. If I dont have to feed the girls I tend to forget about myself, then by the time I remember I feel famished, which since I cant eat alot is not good. I wrote myself a note and put it on my desk here by the computer so I will not forget to eat today!

When I went shopping the other day I bought some Nutrigrain bars. They have more sugar in them then I would like but the are high in fiber as well. I had one for breakfast the other day, it took me an hour to eat it, but it was very good. It satisified any sweet tooth I may have been having that morning also.

I have been walking in the mornings. It is really cold and brisk outside and I love to walk in it. I can bundle myself up and just walk. I have been walking about 20 minutes in the mornings and boy does it feel good. Also being in the office for a good part of the day it helps to start the day off outside and moving. So I am going to move my indoor walk to the evening, maybe even before bed. Seems as though I may have hit another plateau, but that is ok.

We have this bird, dont know what type of bird it is but it has the most god-awful sound ever! It has like a horn-telephone-dying electrical appliance-siren sound that it makes. Of course it wants to make this sound at 5am. I will lay in bed and think OMG I didnt know an animal could sound THAT hideous! Hopefully it is gorgeous and that would make up for its annoying sound!

Life is good. Kids are good. I am good.

Another Day Another Dollar

So the hotel and B&B opened this morning. I have been crazy busy this morning. Back and forth all morning. I am finally sitting down and have a bit of time to do a small update.

I weighed the same this morning as I did yesterday morning. I had coffee for brekky, I know brekky of champions, not! Anyway now it is lunch time and I am very hungry, not quite sure yet what to eat.

I was looking at myself in the mirror as I was dressing this morning and I was like wow! I cant believe that just two months ago I weighed almost 60lbs more than I do now! 60lbs is alot of weight, my 7yo weighs 65lbs, thats like losing a whole child!!! I feel great, so much energy.

I was really bad and for a couple weeks I did not take my vitamins and supplements. Well I started taking them again on Monday and let me tell you I feel doubly as good as I did before. I hate taking pills now because I have trouble swallowing them, they always seem to either gag me or I feel like they are stuck. So I take chewable vitamins and calcium and the vitamin b just melts on my tongue.

Anyhow I am loving my new body, smaller body that is. I have to say that people treat me so much different now. I dont know why people tend to be ruder to fat people. I look at people so much different than I ever have before. When I see an overweight person I feel sad for them, because I know the pain they are going through. I know people treat them so much different than they do thinner people. I know how hard it is for them to just live their life daily. I know all this because I was there, I remember not being able to read my daughters books because I would be so out of breath that I would have to stop every other page, I know what it is like to have your weight interfere with your daily routine, with your family life and with your relationships. I know and I truly hope I never become one of those people who are mean and hateful to a person just because of what they look like or their size. You never know what emotional issues a person has that is making them or keeping them over weight.

Ok stepping off the soapbox now (o: I am making the kids Beef Stroganoff for dinner tonight. Brie invited Bakery Boy over for dinner.

Hope everyone has a great day! I sure am!!

Today is a New Day!!!

I know I didnt update yesterday. Sorry, bad me. We left really early and went into town to grocery shop. OMG can you say stressful! I didnt realize that being away from "civilization" for only 3 weeks could make me hate crowds of people so much! I was so happy to finally be home, in our small quaint little town.

So I weighed myself this morning and....... I am 1lb away from 60lbs! Yup 60lbs! I am so happy.....Doin the happy dance brb. LOL!! Today is another busy day here at the Hotel and B&B. We open tomorrow. I cant believe it, it really has come up very fast.

Tonight we are going to try a new restraunt, Bakery Boy works there also. It is Mexican food. Obviously nothing spicy for me so I'll share something with the girls.

Congratulations!!!!

CONGRATULATIONS ALI!!!! Ali won the biggest looser. The first female to ever win. Congrats you look AMAZING!!!

Just dont know

So I had my morning coffee, which consists of half of a cup, probably like 4-6 oz, with creamer and sweet n low. I took an Excedrin cuz I had horriblr cramps and dont have any tylenol and I am no longer allowed to take Motrin or Ibuprophen. Then I had some crackers, my tummy felt ok after, then I drank some water. About 45 minutes later I tried to eat part of a banana and it made me sick. I had one and a half bites and then started to feel very nauseaus. That was at 11:30 and mt tummy still feels icky. I am thinking this all has to do with my hormones and because its that time, but man this is awful, I feel darned icky!!! Oh well I will deal. I have endometriosis and was hoping that loosing the weight would help with these issues. But apparently it is not helping. I am going to lay down for a bit, hopefull that will make me feel better.

Today Is A Sweats Day...

It is unbelievable to me that a person can actually lose weight right before their monthly cycle! Incredible. I figured out why my back was hurting and why I have been so damn emotional. I started my cycle. I feel blah today, but in a good way, if that makes sense. Still the same weight as yesterday.

The girls had a friend over last night until, well late. I call him Bakery Boy, because he works at the local bakery. He is a cutey and Brie is totally crushing. They seem really happy. Even though they complain that its boring here, they are truly happy for the first time in a long time. I dont think people realize what their children go through when your in a bad, unhealthy relationship.

Tonight we are having Chicken, scalloped potatoes and peas for dinner. Last night the bacon and eggs was delish! I made the eggs the way Hailey likes them, with cheese on top!! Even PeeWee and Pongo got spoiled with eggies for dinner!

Just Got Back...

From the doctors. Hailey is doing good, ears look great, rash is better and no bladder infection. Brittany passed her sports physical so she can finally play at her softball games. Watchout girls!!

Today has been a busy day just doing things around the office trying to get ready for opening this weekend. Wow there is alot to do. The maids have started cleaning the rooms, and the guys are making my property look pretty. I am so excited.

Tonight we are having breakfast for dinner. Eggs, potatoes and bacon. Yummmm!!

Another Pound Gone.....

So this morning I got on the scale and weighed myself. I am out of the 180's! Do you know what that means? I am only 14lbs away from where I was when I met Bobby over ten years ago! I am excited about that. My skin is starting to be loose, dont get me wrong, NOT saggy just loose. I am starting to bruise quite easily so I dont know about that. I have been told it is normal to go through that, almost like its a stage you go through. I am NOT looking forward to losing my hair. It is already starting to come out, so I guess I gotta up the protein.

I had a rough weekend. Saturday it was an emotional mess for me. Then on Sunday I ate something a bit too spicy for my tummy and I suffered. So moral of that story is I wont be eating anything spicy, not meaning hot spicy but just with alot of spices in it.

Hailey and Brittany both have doctors appointments today. Hailey so the dr can recheck her and Britt for a sports physical. So we will head over there this afternoon.

This morning I have a meeting here at work. The Hotel and B&B open on Friday so we have tons of work this week. Well the maids and the maintainance men do, I have lots of office paperwork to do.

Not to sure what we are doing for dinner, maybe breakfast, that sounds so yummy to me. Breakfast for dinner. Yeah thats what we will have.

I am sure I will update again today because I am sure there are things I missed. Have a great day!!

Today Is A Good Day :o)

So I got some big news to share. Last night I went to a friends house for dinner (because I burned my dinner). She too has had GBS and like me keeps her scale in the kitchen. So I stepped on her scale, hmmmhmm, look down WOAH, so I grab Hailey and have her come stand on the scale, yup same thing, her scale is 5lbs lighter than mine. So I told her and she said that her scale is right on because she just got home from the Police Academy in LA and they weigh you when you leave and when you come back. So all this time my scale has been off! That makes my total weight loss...... 55lbs!!! WoooHoooo! **Doing The Happy Dance** So my piece of poopoo scale is being replaced this week. I want one of those nice Weight Watchers scales, but we will see. My scale is an ancient thing that my MIL gave me because she never could get it to work. Anywhooo today is a good day. I am working almost all day at the Lodge, 9-12 then 3-9, so I have to finish getting ready and take the beasts out front for a few. I just wanted to share the happiness with those I love!!!!

Well...

I am sad to say that my Cream Cheese Chicken.... Well I burned the chicken..... Yes I am saddened by it...... It was supposed to taste so good too.....

I had a part of a banana for breakfast thismorning! It was wonderful to finally eat a piece of fruit again. It was yummy and it sat very well in there. For lunch I had 3 bites of a PB an strawberry jelly sandwich. I was concerned about the jelly but it too sat very well!

We are going to a friends house this evening for dinner since mine kinda didnt turn out too well, boohoo.

Hailey has been sick all week and bathing has not been too comfortable for her. So her baths have been very cool and very fast. Well this morning I looked at her hair and was like, ewwww yuck girlfriend Fairy Princesses have soft clean hair. So she went and washed her hair. I swear it looked like she was starting dread locks it was so bad. So now my Fairy Princess is clean with soft sweet smelling hair (thank god).

I Wanna Be A Fairy Princess....

I have decided that I want to be a Fairy Princess! Why is it that only my 7 yr old can run around the house saying she is one? So I told her this morning that mommy is also a Fairy Princess today :o) So today my girls and I are Fairy Princesses!

So this morning my weight is still the same. But that is not surprising to me. I am happy where I am at. My energy is amazing! Yesterday I cleaned house, went for a walk, made dinner AND stayed up til 9pm!! Yay me! I am amazed at my energy level. I am amazed that those 50lbs slowed me down so much. I cant imagine it anymore. I do know that I never want to go back! I am very happy with my results.

Over the past few weeks I have made some very, very encouraging online frinds on a (gulp) Food Forum! Yes a food forum. You may wonder why I am frequenting a FF when I know my issues with food. Well that is just it I know my issues and I am no longer allowing food to run my life. We share recipes and what we are eating and I can live vicariously through them (with some things I no longer eat). They are a wonderful group of people and oh so encouraging! Love you gals!!

Today I am making a recipe I found on the FF. Crockpot Cream Cheese Chicken. SOunds so yummy and I am very excited. I have found several recipes on the FF that I will be trying in the upcoming weeks. I have also found ways to tweak recipes and make them healthier. Cutting sugar and adding Splenda, dropping spaghetti noodles adding spaghetti squash. Yes sometime I do have to sit and think, how can I make this more healthy, but isnt that what a lifestyle change is all about?

The Hotel and B & B open next weekend. I am so excited. This is going to be so much fun. I love being able to work right here where I live. I know we are going to be crazy busy the following weekend since it is the opening of fishing. I am so looking forward to it. I love meeting new people and now with my weightloss it is not intimidating to me. I am not constantly wondering what they are thinking of me, the fat girl. I have to say it has boosted my self confidence at least one notch, so far!

I better run for now. I have some Fairy Princess stuff to do........

Walking Video

Wooohooo I found my walking video. It is an indoor 1 mile walk. There is 3 different intensities. Each walk is 15 minutes with 10 minutes of stretching. I am going to start it in the morning. Yay me, haha Hailey says that all the time!!

Cleaning House!

This morning same routine, I am the same weight as yesterday. Good Good!

Brie and I got up and cleaned the whole downstairs this morning. I woke up with the cleaning bug, Brie must have too.
Last night was a early night, we went to bed at 8. I must have needed the rest because both Hailey and I were out as soon as the story was over. I woke up feeling nice and refreshed this morning.
We had oatmeal for breakfast and of course coffee. For lunch Im not too sure yet. Dinner is Chicken Quesadillas, yumm-o.
It is a gorgeous day today, so we will be spending most of it outside in the warm california sun, lol. It should be in the 50's here today! NICE!!
I will update later this evening. Have a AWSOME day my friends!!

Tonight

Well not much new tonight. I feel run down and tired. It is almost that time so thats probably what is going on. My lower and upper back are hurting really bad. I will be calling it an early night tonight. Once I get the girls tucked in I will be tucking myself in. I have some huge bruises that I noticed today, one on the top of my foot and the other on my upper thigh. I also have a huge zit on my chin (boohoo). Who woulda thought almost 32 and still getting zits, lol! It hurts too, waaaaahh. Yeah I am a baby when it comes to pain. So depending on how Hailey is feeling we may be heading up to Fairfield in the morning. If she is not better than we wont be going. I know it will upset my family but I have to keep my little one comfortable. The dr said the elevation change wouldnt be good for her ears right now. We would actually have to go up to come down, because of the summit, an the dr said it could cause them to rupture. So I am hoping they dont get too mad, I really want to go down. Oh. they are having my grandma's memorial on Saturday morning. They had her funeral last month but now they are having a memorial service for her. ANyway I had a tiny piece of leftover chicken for dinner tonight. The kids had leftover spaghetti. Tomorrow we are having grilled chicken and mozzerella cheese quesadillas for dinner. Anywho I am going to go for tonight. I will update more in the morning. Night Friends :o)

This Morning, So Far

I got up and did my ritual weigh myself and make coffe. Well I am down another 1.5lbs from yesterday! I am thrilled! I a only 1.5lbs away from 50lbs now. I know I keep saying almost 50, almost 50 but now 50 is coming closer and closer, soon I will pass it by, waving of course.
I was laying in bed thinking last night how flat my poor boobs are now, lol. I have realised a couple other things:
1. I have shoulders now, like you can see the bones, their not these huge beefsteaks anymore!
2. I have hip bones now and laying on my side will hurt them
3. I have a bony butt and taking baths is not nearly as enjoyable although I do not touch both sides of the tub anylonger, which believe me is so nice
4. My double chin is long gone, Sianara baby, dont you come back!!
5. When I lay down I have a completely FLAT stomach (of course everything else is flat too now) I havent layed down with a flat tummy in centuries it seems, but now when I lay dow poof its gone!!!

Wooohoooo

I got up this morning after a horrible nights sleep, I think that nap yesterdat had something to do with it, and was feeling pretty crappy. So I do my daily ritual, come downstairs, remove my nightpants (ya know the extra weight cuz they weigh so much) and step on the scale. Fully expecting to be what I was day before I just casually looked down, 188! OMG! 188! OMG! I havent been in the 180's since BEFORE Bobby and I got married, before I got pregnant with Hailey, 9 years it has been! I am so excited this morning. I feel wonderful today.
I made myself a small pot of coffee and took Hailey to school, yes the child needed to go to school today. Her rash is getting better but it is still very present throughout her body. The hydrocortisone and Benadryl seem to be helping. She doesnt have much of an appetite so I am thinking that it has something to do with her being so sick. She has been cranky and moody as well. None of the other kids seem to be coming down with this so I am very thankful of that.
Hailey went to her first night of Girl Scouts last night. She had so much fun, she is a Daisy! All the girls are in her class (duh there is only 1 2nd grade class an she is in it), they were happy to see her there. They are taking a trip out of town for a sleepover next weekend. Hailey really wants to go but I am not so sure. We just moved here and she doesnt sleep over at other peoples houses. I am going to have to do alot of thinking here. I called Bobby for his input and he said "well your the mom go with whatever your gut tells you". Thanks alot buddy i wanted more than that! Oh well she starts T-Ball tonight and we will see how that goes.
I am going to treat myself to some Butternut Squash for lunch today. Yumm-O!!

8 Weeks Today

Today it has been 8 weeks since I had my surgery. I thank the lord I am doing as good as I am. I have heard horror stories of how peoples bodies reacted after surgery.

Tonight will be a celebration night, to celebrate 8 weeks since my second chance at life was given to me. I am going to make something healthy, yet yummy for delicious for dinner and we are going to watch a movie and then "The Biggest Loser" together. I love that show, I hope the girl in the pink wins cuz DAMN she has worked hard and looks awsome!!!!

Anyway maybe more later, kinda feeling lazy today. Hailey is home again, itchy with a tummy ache.

Hailey Update...

Hailey has been suffering from this unknown rash for the past few days that has been increasingly getting worse. I called the school and they said Scarlet Fever is going around, great. Well I called the clinic and was told no it was not Scarlet Fever, that was just the ranting of a hysterically crazy mom, those were the nurses words I swear to bob! So it has been determined that Hailey has Fifths Disease, also known as the Human Parvovirus. At this point she is no longer contagious, once the rash develops they are not contagious. So the only thing now is to keep her comfortable. So she is enjoying being babied.

Hrmph....

Well I stepped on the scale this morning and I am up 1lb, ugh! It seems like I fluctuate daily. I am a little stressed because my pumpkin (Hailey) is sick. She has this horrible rash and I called the school to tell them she was going to the dr for a rash and they said "Have them check for Scarlet Fever, we have two students out from it right now.". Great that is all we need right now. Hopefully I can still get a short walk in today even with her home sick, it is always hard when one of the kids are sick. Well I will update later, hopefull with some better news.

Today...

So I stepped on the scale this morning and finally, oh finally I have hit 190lbs! I cant wait to be in the 180's again, it has been ages since I have seen those numbers on MY scale, lol! Last night I had a quarter of a ham and cheese sandwich for dinner, it was good but not as satisfying as say a hard boiled egg, maybe it is the protein or maybe its just that the bread is not so satisfying for me anymore, I am not sure. So when I got home from work I had a hard boiled egg and was completely satisfied. I have some really off the walll cravings also. I have found that I am craving and I mean really craving mustard. I have never ever been a real mustard fan but I have been eating it on everything, Meatloaf, eggs, crackers, toast etc.

Today Bobby is coming up to visit and I am making a nice dinner for them. Chicken Parmigiana, Alfredo Pasta & Butternut Squash (yum-o). I will probbly only have a bite of chicken and some of the squash. But it does sound so yummy to me. Anyway I will try and update this evening, if not tonight then I will tomorrrow. I will try and get some pictures up also. Bye Friends *waves*

Junk Food and Saying NO!

Ya know I just realized that we have tons of junk in our house. Before Easter I bought a bad of Nestle Chocolate Variety Eggs at Costco, half went to the church and half went into the candy dish. Back in January I ordered 7 boxes of Girl Scout cookies, they just came in and so they are sitting in my cabinet. The kids still have Easter candy from their baskets. So there is all this junk food sitting around and I have not even been tempted once by it. I always look at the sugar content in everything now and I break it down in my head ok 3 Thin Mint cookies are 13grams of suagr so if I had 1 it would only be like 4.3grams of sugar, still under my limit but I do not want to get my body accustomed to sugars again, at least not right now. I am totally enjoying being sugar free. Yesterday at the bakery I looked at all the yummy looking pasteries and was not even tempted by any of them except one, A Spinach and Feta Cheese Croissant, it really looked yummy, but not knowing how it would settle in my tummy is enough for me to pass anything, even things in my past I have super loved. I made the kiddos their Cinnamon French Toast today with the fresh Cinnamon Bread I bought them yesterday and I had my hard boiled egg for breakfast. Saying no and seeing some peoples face is priceless, or going out to eat somewhere and only being able to eat a couple bites and the waiter/ess asks if everything was ok because I left so much. It really is a goood feeling. I have started losing again I am down another 1 1/2lbs since day before yesterday. I have found out that the more fluids I take in the better I feel and the more weight I seem to lose, but I also have to eat so it is still a bit tricky, but it works.

Today...

I tried a crossant! It was very good. I only ate a little bit but it was enough and so satisfying. I think before my surgery I didnt really know how to truly enjoy my food. I always ate so fast and so much that I felt miserable afterwards. Well today I enjoy every bite of food I take. I savor it. I am begining to understand that I had an eating disorder, maybe not anorexia or bulimia but over eating is a eating disorder. I am l earning how to enjoy foods in smaller quantities, how to enjoy eating slowly and how to NOT eat when I am upset or stressed. This whole situation is a learning process, reteaching yourself the basics of Healthy Eating 101.

I AM So Embarassed...

Because it has been almost a month since I have updated my blog! I have become one of those blog owners who doesnt update frequently. Shame on me!! But I do have an excuse! On March 20 I lost my Grandma. It was so very hard because as you all know on February 16 I lost my other Grandma. I was very very close to both my Grandmas and to lose them both in a months time was like shock to my heart. I will miss them both every day for as long as I walk this earth, because when I am no longer here I will be with them dancing in Heaven!
On Easter Sunday the kids and I packed up and moved! We packed our belongings and left Fairfield. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, walking away from my marriage, but I know that the life I am providing for my children here is much better (not to mention less stressfull) than the life we lived there. Of course change is always hard and I do miss him very much but ya know what they say about bad habits? They are hard to break.

So now onto my weightloss update!!!
I have lost close to 50lbs at this point. I feel wonderful. I am still drug free (just taking those daily vitamins and the pepcid). My blood sugars have been amazing. I test my blood every morning and my fasting sugars are usually 89 every morning! This is great because before surgery my fastings were between 145 and 165 every morning! My blood pressure is staying low around 110/70 which again is awsome because I was on several BP pills and my BP was 145/90 typically! So this is wonderful.
My diet. I still struggle with wanting those things that are bad for me, I think it will always be a struggle for me, but now I know how to say no. I have maintained the 5grams of sugar or less rule. I have not tried any sweets or soda, you all know how big of a baby I am when it comes to pain in my stomach.
This last week I had a small serving of Tuna Casserole and it sat surprisingly well in my tummy. As most of you know I have had a phobia of pasta, because of all those horror stories I have heard!
My main diet includes many of the folllowing:
Hard Boiled Eggs
Egg Beaters
Cheese
Spaghetti Squash (YUM-O)
Butter Squash
Beef Jerky
Protein Shakes
Pork
Chicken
Tuna (out of the can)
Broccoli

I have learned how to cook for my family very healthy. I have made some of our old favorites in more healthy ways. Spaghetti Squash instead of Pasta with the Meat sauce. It really is surprisingly good. I read all labels now. Guess what I found? Wal-Mart has a drink mix kinda like the Crystal Lights and they have Sugar Free Apple Juice! Guess what my kids drink now? Yup no more Apple Juice with 30+ grams of sugar in 6oz. It is all about healthier choices and portion control. I have found splenda makes baking sugars and brown sugar as well. There will no longer be tons of sugar in our homemade cookies, cakes and candies. My marinades have also substituted the suagrs with splenda, and you can not tell the difference.

I can handle most things surprisingly well. I have only had one issue with terrible pain and nauseau. This was the day before our move and I had a breadstick for dinner. I think I ate it either too fast or too much because I was so sick. I have found that I cant throw up. I was so nauseaus that night, sitting over the toilet trying to throw up thinking it would make me feel better but no, I could not get it to come up. The nice thing is it only lasts 30 minutes. I layed there on the floor for those thirty minutes agonzing. But once it was over it was over.
I dont regret the decision I made. The only thing I regret is not doing it a couple years ago when I first went in for the consult.

Living up here we dont have any fast food restraunts. We dont have those temptations, but there are others. I have cooked for my children every single night. I am loving my new life and the new outlook I have on life. I will not take my second chance at life for granted!!!